As much as I enjoy the convenience of the subway system in New York, some things really bother me. I guess it is when you are forced to spend a portion of your day with people whom you would never have anything to do with.  

I’m bothered when I have to listen to someone else’s music. Why don’t you buy some decent headphones or turn that crap down! I’m bothered when my intimidation stare does not work and they continue to jam on.  

I’m bothered when… “EXCUSE ME LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! MY NAME IS LEROY! I’M NOT OUT HERE SELLING CANDY FOR A BASKETBALL TEAM. I’M OUT HERE TRYING TO KEEP MYSELF OUT OF TROUBLE AND KEEP SOME MONEY IN MY POCKET. ALL I HAVE ARE M&M’S AND STARBURST! EACH CANDY IS A DOLLAR! IF YOU WOULD BUY SOME CANDY OR MAKE A DONATION, IT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!”

…….Yeah, I’m sure it would. I found this sales pitch cute the first few times, but now it is stale. It really bothered me when I saw guys in their mid- and late twenties trying this.  

I’m bothered because the only comfort I can provide myself is by closing my eyes. I can’t do that for too long though. This is New York, and I ride the A train from Brooklyn.  So I keep my eyes open.  

Only to be further bothered and disgusted by that homosexual who is looking at me with that look of interest. I’m bothered, so I look away.

I check out the fly young lady who just entered the train and I stay bothered because she won’t make eye contact with me. She finally looks my when and closes her eyes as if I am bothering her.  

Constantly bothered by the homeless guy who works for the United Homeless Organization and claims to be an outreach worker. I’m bothered by him and people like him, because I never see them helping homeless people. I do see them collecting money. According to this guy, he is offering food to those who are homeless and hungry. I’m bothered because I remember seeing you in 1996 when I used to take the E train to school every day. As you pass, you look at me and pause. It is a look of guilt. You have confirmed my thoughts, you phony. 

I stay bothered by the group of young men who decide to entertain everyone with their acrobatic show. Damn, can’t people ride the train in silence?   

What bothers me the most is the look of hopelessness that I see when I look into the eyes of people on their way to work. I’m bothered because I’m becoming one of them. I’m bothered and losing hope.  

I’m bothered by those metro card machines that currently tell me that bills are currently not accepted. I’m bothered when I have to stand behind someone who does not know how to use those machines. I’m bothered when I have to speak to one of those clerks who is in the booth. They're on the phone with someone or talking to a fellow clerk. Did not mean to bother you. 

I was bothered by seeing everyone with an iPod and I’m walking around listening to music on my device that looks like a Frisbee. So, I broke down and bought one. I’m bothered by all of the reports of people getting their iPods stolen. I’m bothered, so I put mine away.  

I’m bothered by not having enough courage to approach the cute sister who always sees me checking her out. 

What has bothered me as of late are the rules that prevent me from drinking and eating on the train.  

I’m bothered by the Asian guy who has entered the car with the stealth of a ninja. He says nothing, and performs a once over on the passengers. He is checking for cops at the same time trying to be inconspicuous. Then out come the DVDs in that special Asian packaging.  

I’m especially bothered by the foreigners who are enchanted by witnessing all of the things that bother me.  

I stay bothered, but I love the subway.   

Nigel Clarke is a freelance writer, designer and photographer. He was born and raised in the mighty borough of Queens, but recently moved to Brooklyn. He still misses seeing graffiti on the trains.